To Know?

Well, it's been a whirl-wind of a week, and it's only Tuesday. Dang. We got a phone call at 4:40 yesterday that just might rock our world.

When we were looking to adopt from the Philippines, we were using Madison Adoption Associates. I've gotten to know the regional director pretty well. She lives like 30 minutes from us and also runs an orphan ministry.

This gal, Michelle, called me yesterday at 4:40 and says, "I think I've got a kid for you."


You see, Madison has previously only worked with countries who have older age requirements for adoptions (i.e., Philippines - 27 & China - 30). About six months ago, we were told that Madison was considering partnering with Bulgaria to do some adoptions. The program was super-new though, so they couldn't recommend it at the time.

Well apparently, there's this little boy named N. in Bulgaria. His file came across the desk of the founder of Madison Adoption Associates (in Delaware) and apparently she thought of Chance and me.

Well fancy that.

So Michelle called to tell me about him.

Then she emailed his file to me.

Then I saw his picture.

And now my world has turned upside down. Just like that. We had a plan. We were going to adopt from OK. We were trucking along just fine, thank you, and then Michelle called to tell me about him.

Then she emailed his file to me.

Then I saw his picture.

So, that's where Chance and I are right now. We're praying for God to guide us. We've agreed that God still wants us to pursue the adoption from OK. But, now we are wondering if we are supposed to be bringing home a four-year-old brother for that baby.

N. is the 8th unplanned pregnancy from his mother. He's lived in an orphanage since he was ten days old. During his birth, he lost some oxygen to his brain.

His most recent medical records are from when he was 3 years old. He had his tonsils and adenoids removed. At the age of three, he really wasn't talking much. He didn't play with other kids very much either. At least one of his eyes sometimes goes crossed.

So, now we're faced with a dilemma. Do we pursue N.?

That's where my mind has been all day. I may have spent ten hours in different clients' homes, but my mind was in Bulgaria.

Chance and I have talked a few times about this little boy. We're just not sure. I wish God would clearly mark the best path for our lives by using a neon sign.


Then, right before bed tonight, I said to C, "Do you think we will ever KNOW when we've found our perfect child that God has for our family? People always told me that I'd KNOW when I found my perfect wedding dress, but in reality I found a dress in the right price range with a lot of the specific features I was looking for.

Is it the same with a kid? Will we KNOW? Or will the kid just fit our criteria?"

So then, we're lying in bed five minutes later, and C says, "The kid's name (N.) reminds me of a Greek word. I can't remember what it means though. The word is 'ginosko.'"

So, we looked it up. The word means, "to KNOW."


Think on that one.

Is this my neon sign? I might need two signs. :) And can we make 'em flashing?

Will you pray for us? Pray that we make the right decision. Pray for N. Pray that we would just KNOW.



(N.'s name cannot be posted on this blog until more of our paperwork has been approved.)

The child I have chosen for you...

Nasko's Photo